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Sheedy will have the Tipp lads hoppin' and 'Effin Eddie' reckons that will do the trick
"JAZUS there you are," he said suffocating my hand with a grip like the jaws of a heavy-duty industrial wrench.
"Come in and meet Kathleen."
He was shaking my hand, but the entire right side of my body and arm were being pumped with such welcoming force that I had visions of joining Tommy Walsh and Brian Hogan on the Kilkenny treatment table.
"Kathleen, Kathleen, shake hands with this Kilkinny man with the quare name (my father wouldn't be too pleased)."
I hadn't opened my mouth. I had only called into the flag decked bungalow in County Tipperary to enquire about the location of my guest, but I needn't have enquired.
"Eddie Moroney," I asked.
"The very man Mr Barry. How do you pronounce your surname? There wouldn't be too many of your kind in Kilkinny. Jays, I had visions of yu bein' black. What part of Kilkinny are you from?"
"Callan," I answered.
"Ye had a great man there one time. I remember him well. John Power. As strong as a young stallion. He'd go through yu pulling a plough."
'Effin Eddie', as my man is known, is an iconic figure from Argentina to Alaska. He has a reputation, based on one commentary on a Tipperary under-21 football game played back in 1993 in the depths of Winter in Littleton. From Botswana to Belmullet, 'Effin Eddie' is liberally quoted by many who have heard the said commentary.
His fans can be numbered in many thousands, nay, perhaps millions.
The story
I will attempt to tell the story of my encounter with a liberal use of phonetics, because I feel that it is the only way I can really captivate the passion, the personality, the rawness, the parish ethos of Edward John Moroney, known far and wide as 'Effin Eddie'.
"We heard in Kilkenny that you were an absconding millionaire like our bank managers, and we also heard that they were putting flowers over you in the graveyard in Lisvernane. But it was all a lie, 'cause here you are hail and hearty still living in the Glen," we said.
With a rasping laugh he replied: "Jazus yu are spot on. I'm still alive and in great condition and I just can't wait for the small ball in the first Sunday in September with the blue and gold takin' on the black and amber. Where would you find (decibel increase) tradition like it. 'Twould bring anyone up out of the grave if he hadn't been planted too long.
"They tells me that even as we speak there are rumours that the soil is moving in the graveyards in Tipprary and Kilkinny. 'Tis like our own days winnin' the county title with our little parish back in 1993, when we bet that great club from North Tipprary, Eire Og, Nayna. 'Tis something like this All-Ireland."
But Eddie in 1993, ye played in the month of January with frost and ice in the air, we reminded.
"Ah but you have got to remember that down in our little parish it was f***in meltin. The lads left the parish here and they were pumped up. I was sure they would explode. Jazus they were on fire and they would have walked to Little(t)on in hob-nailed boots to get at the Nayna byes. There was a shkinner of a wind there. The dunkey or the bullok would go to the ditch for cover."
Cloud hanging
How did you get so involved in what was just a run-of-the-mill football match, I asked?
"To tell yu the truth, I got my inspiration from Glen Cois na Binne. 'Tis over there in the corner of that fog beyond those goalposts (don't ask). You can't rightly see it because the clouds are hanging on the ground (we are in the midst of the Galtee Mountains).
"My wife Kathleen is from Glen Cois and her dad, Mickie O'Brien passed away a few days before the match. But I got the power, the vision and the passion from Glen Cois. We put him down well. We sent him off a happy man. But really it was the passion of the game that was inspirational."
Did you have a smuthn or two before the game, we wondered.
Eddie: "To be honesht wit yu, we might have had more than a couple. Sure we were drinkin' for three days and nights and it could have been in the syshtim. But anyway, we had the passion. Early on I knew that we would win. Lukey, the Bear, Lional the tiger and Moss were flying.
"I was rootin' the ground where I was runnin' up and down doin' the commentary and it was turned into shtubble. I remember shoutin' come on lads we have them turned. I knew we had them. We are only a smaw little parish, but jazus there is great fire and passion in the place. It's like Matt the Thrasher and Knocknagow and the throwing of the sledge. You bring it out in the spirit of the parish. That's what our byes did agin Nayna in Little(t)on."
The final.
What were his thoughts on the first Sunday in September?
"I can't wait," Eddie insisted. "I wish 'twas tomorra. It will be like John Wayne at the Alamo. It will be like Custer's last stand at the Little Big Horn. Jazus it will be like Nolan's chip shop on a Saturday night when all the lads come out of the pubs (voice rising).
"It will be like going into the Colluseum. The Gladiators agin the, the, the Barbarians. And who will come out? It will be tick and tough, and there will be shkin and hair flyin'. But sure that's the way it'll be. End tu end sthuff."
He paused for breath.
'Effin Eddie' was on high doh!
"It'll be great. Liam Sheedy and Brian Cody, two min that wore the colours. It will be close, there is no doubt. You have the home o' hurlin' in the Premier going agin the aristocrats of the game, Kilkinny. Ye're good (pause). Christ lads, we would have to admit that ye are one of the greatesht teams that ever bet a ball.
"Ah jays, ye are the best hurlin' team of all time I'd say. But ye won't get anything soft from our lads. Tipprary are comin' to the fore agin, and it'll be the lions of the Premier agin the tigers of Kilkinny."
Did he think that the referee would play a significant part in where the Liam McCarthy will eventually end up.
Don't need tourisht
"Yah. He's from Waterford. Waddin' is his name. I hope he won't be lookin' around him, admirin' the place and havin' a good time. We don't need a tourisht in the middle of Croke Park when the All-Ireland is goin' on.
"I hope he'll get stuck into the job, and be fair. Fair play is all we want (ouch). He's not bad, but we'll be watchin' him this time. I hope he's better than the gilly gooley (my words, Eddie's are unprintable) we had last year."
Eddie you are not known for your admiration of referees, we prompted.
"Jayz I have great respect for dem min. I don't know where you are comin' from there," he fired.
In Littleton, you were not too complimentary about Jim O'Shea from Templemore.
"Christ I got terrible hot in Little(t)on. 'Twas passion, and the sweat and the excitement. I got a little colourful but 'tis all part of the game. I know I tould him to put on the glasses and I know I tould him he was blind. But sure here I am meself , and I have to put on the glasses and when 'tis rainin, I have to turn on the wipers. Jim Shea and meself are the besht of frinds. He's a legend, and he often thanks me for it."
Where will Tipp win it Eddie?
"Christ ye have a great half back line. Hogan will be back with two new hands sthuk on. And din ye have Tommy the great. Jays he looks like St Michael the Archangel, but he is an assassin with the ball. And what about the great J.J. He can play anywhere. But we have the min to match 'em.
"But then when we look inside, ye have Eddie Brinnin. He's like a good hare goin' up in Clonmel. And Richie Power is a great talent. Whatever about the Great Hinry — I dunno. If he doeshn't play, sure ye can shlip in Michael Rice. I seen yere captain playin' with me own lad, Brian, winning the Fitzgibbon with WIT. I always thought he'd be a great player (voice rise). 'Effin Eddie' was always known as a great judge of a man or a greyhound. Reid is brilliant."
Tough questions coming up.
Would you like to see history being made in hurling with Kilkenny winning the five-in-a-row even at the expense of Tipp?
"Jesus Christ man (he makes the sign of the Cross saying, forgive me) that's a hoor of a question to ask me. Jayz that's awful awkard. If this was a quiz on the television that would be worth tin points (rubbing his chin). Jayz I dunno, I dunno.
Not at our expense
"If 'twas any other county bar a Munster county I'd love to see Kilkinny make history. Yu asked me a straight question – 'tis-'tis-'tis, ah Mother o'God, could ya ask me a two marker. Ah jayz, I dunno.
"I don't think I could want ye to get the five at Tipp's expense. Ah no . . . no . . . no, jays not at Tipp's expense. I couldn't go with yu on that one now, not at our expense".
What were you thinking after the final last year?
"That ref made some quare decisions. The pinilty got me awful hot and bothered. And then we had two great chances of goals. The shot from Seamus (Callanan) was great, but P.J. (Ryan) made a great sthop. And din, Eoin (Kelly) shlipped. I went in to check after, and I saw where he shlipped.
"I jusht said to the lads, hey lads says I, there was pigeons here before the match. Sure the pitch is covered in pigeon shit. I knew the Kilkinny lads were out to get us then."
His final thoughts
"It'll come down to the bounce of a ball, a flick, a ricochet. Ye are hoors at this hand passing and flickin the ball. There is no doubt that ye are the masters, but we got within the width of the hair on a baldy man of bayten ye last year. We are not afraid of ye.
"It will be the Colosseum all over agin – the Christians agin the Proteshtants. Ye are ruteless around the square, but our byes are comin' good at the right time and Liam Sheedy will have them hoppin'. Ye're the odds on favourites, and we're the dark horses.
"Ye're the besht team in the country for the lasht six years, but we won't fear ye. It'll be savage. The blood will be boilin', and some of it will be spilt, but the Premier will win. Jaysuz – I hope so."
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Weather for Kilkenny
Tuesday 07 February 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: 4 C to 8 C
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Wind direction: South east
Tomorrow
Light rain
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