Sssh: Brian and Ned had chat to hatch plan for Limerick

Enda McEvoy

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Enda McEvoy

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@kilkennypeoplesport

Sssh: Brian and Ned had chat to hatch plan for Limerick

Richie Hogan might have a central role for Kilkenny

After months of radio silence our old friends in Signals Intelligence at the National Security Agency in Fort Meade, Maryland have picked up some recent chatter between two shadowy operatives – codenamed “Brian” and “Ned” – they’ve long been tracking in the south east of Ireland. Here is the latest transcript:
Brian: Well, what did you think of that? I’m back, baby!
Ned: Congrats. Great win. Mind you, Cork aren’t up to much when the pressure comes on, are they? I’d say the Mooncoin special juniors would put it up to them.
Brian: Look, after the Leinster final I was just glad to get a win. Oops, did I say that out loud? And I got back in time for Dylan.
Ned: Oh yeah – Pa’s cousin.
Brian: Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped cracking that one by now?
Ned, musing: Maybe I could change it to “James Maher’s distant cousin”… Anyway, what was Dylan like? I heard he was awful. Old and long past it.
Brian: Half like me, so. Old but far from past it. Boom boom!
Ned: I must say I was glad you brought back Richie Hogan. See what happens when he’s there from the start instead of from the 72nd minute?
Brian: Don’t tell anyone but that wasn’t me.
Ned: Huh?
Brian: Actually it was Elsie. She was furious with me for bringing Richie on so late against Wexford. Told me I could cook my own dinner if I ever pulled a stunt like that again. So I had to start him against Cork and he scored 1-2. What can I say? I’m a genius. And I don’t have to cook for myself.
Ned: I hear ya, bruv. Lucy claims she reckons I don’t know where the cooker in our kitchen is.
Brian: So where in the kitchen is it?
Ned: In the far left corner. Or is it the far right corner? Or maybe the centre? I’m not really sure... Anyway, enough domestic trivia. Well done for heeding my advice about full-back.
Brian: What was that?
Ned: Back in November I told you to bring Padraig Walsh out the field and find some young lad for the edge of the square. And you did. I like the look of Huw Lawlor. He’s done well.
Brian: Yes, I’m very pleased with him. The way he’s going, he may well end up as Kilkenny’s second-best full-back ever.
Ned: After Noel Hickey, I presume?
Brian: No. After me. By the way, I didn’t see you in Wexford Park.
Ned: I was there alright. I was a bit worried beforehand but it all passed off well.
Brian: Worried that Kilkenny would lose?
Ned: No, worried that Liam Griffin would slag me about the result of the senior final. And the result of the minor final, come to think of it. Thankfully he just gave me a wave and left it at that. So it turned out to be a good night, all in all. And a very good night for DJ. What with him and Henry and Eddie Brennan, isn’t it great that we have all these candidates to replace you when the day comes?
Brian: Sorry? Replace me? When the day comes?
Ned: Ahem, obviously I mean to succeed you. Eventually. When do you think that might be?
Brian: Not that long. Maybe in 2030 or so.
Ned: 20.30? Hmm. It’s half-past five now so that’s only another three hours. This is all a bit sudden.
Brian: No, 2030. As in the year.
Ned: Another 11 years then?
Brian: At least. And why not? An emerging young team. A few promising under-20s out there. Believe me, I’m only getting started.

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