'Bring your brother': Men encouraged to attend Kilkenny singles event with 'pool of women'

The founder of an organisation offering an alternative to dating apps is encouraging men to come along to their singles event in Kilkenny this weekend.

Club S.O.D.A (Sick of Dating Apps) hosts walking events for single people, with the next happening at Mountain View Markets on Sunday.

Its founder, Korina Duffy, has brought the event all over the Republic of Ireland, with this weekend her second time at the Ballyhale markets.

“It's a really cool spot, and then it's really relaxed. It’s deadly. There's a bit of music,” she said.

People are encouraged to get to know one another by going for walks and having a coffee or mingling and making connections.

There are roughly 10 males and 10 females aged under 40.

Korina, who is also a fitness instructor and founder of Eco Fitness, set up Club S.O.D.A about four years ago.

A year before that, she had given up alcohol to focus more on her health, and had become sick of dating apps.

She had been texting a friend who said the same, and started brainstorming some ideas.

“I wrote down s-o-d-a and realised that's it. Club S.O.D.A, which can stand for non-alcohol events, but primarily it's sick of dating apps,” Korina explained.

She is a walking leader already and is into hiking, so hosting singles walking events made sense.

She also liked the psychology side of walking, as it allows people to open up more when they are side-by-side rather than face-to-face.

“It's a bit more relaxed. You can be yourself,” she said.

Her first walk was on a rainy day in Dublin four years ago.

She didn’t expect anyone to show up, but after getting taxis to the middle of the mountains, many did.

Getting men to sign up to events has been a struggle, with women often more keen to try something new.

“If I were a male, I would go where there's a pool of women, and there's a pool of women in these events, and they're always really cool, sound women,” Korina said.

”Where are you going to get 20 women all together that are actually ready to chase? You're shopping in the wrong place; you need to go where the women are,” she continued.

Her partner Michael, whom she did not meet at a walk, does help out with events.

He agrees that men are searching in the wrong place when it comes to trying to find someone to share a life with.

A lot of the reason men aren’t attending the events is due to a lack of confidence, according to Korina.

Showing up sober and putting yourself out there can be a big deal, particularly if you have been “knocked down” in the past.

Women, on the other hand, are very keen to put themselves out there, with a waiting list of roughly 40 ladies for every event.

“I think women are better at searching and better at alternatives. I just wish more men would sign up. I always encourage the girls to bring a cousin or a brother or something,”

She shared a story about three guys who “chickened out” of attending a walk recently, but were added to the temporary post-event group chat. (All attendees are added, and then it is deleted after a week, encouraging people to continue to connect among themselves.

One of the guys messaged a girl, who realised he wasn’t actually at the walk.

They spent three hours on a video call and have been dating ever since.

This is one of several success stories from people who have attended Korina’s single mingle walks.

A couple that met at a Kilkenny walk have gone on to buy a house together in Cork.

Korina hears these stories via word of mouth, and is also aware of one couple that got married, two others that are engaged, another that has a baby, and many more that have gone on to become “travel buddies.”

Despite the success, she doesn’t like the label ‘matchmaker’ and prefers to be called the ‘connector,’ “connecting people through movement.”

While walking, Korina offers positive dating advice and encourages people to ask questions deeper than “what do you do?”

Those attending are also pushed to message each other and go on dates, while being taught some dating etiquette such as how to accept or decline a date, and how to say no.

The consensus from those who do attend is that they are sick of online dating and chatting.

“They're all just fatigued at the moment. Fatigued from messaging and voice notes, of the online communication. They just want to meet people and look for a real chemistry connection,” Korina said.

To sign up to attend this week's walk in Kilkenny, visit Eventbrite.ie or Clubsoda.ie, and to keep up to date with other upcoming walks, follow @ club__s.o.d.a on Instagram.