Why is it so hard to be kind and show respect online?

When did we, as a society, decide it was ok to allow mean, nasty and hateful behaviour go unchallenged and unpunished?
Over the last two weeks I have spoken to public representatives from across Kilkenny, and the tales of what they put up with, and indeed what they have gotten used to, is genuinely shocking.

Curious what the local experience has been, in the wake of an incident at a public meeting in Galway where a minister of state had a bag of cow dung thrown at her, I picked up the phone to the men and women in elected positions in our own county.
All of them were clear, they were not moaning or complaining, after all I did ask the question, but everyone I spoke to had some experience of ‘normalised’ nasty behaviour.

For some it’s a daily fact of life, for others they have stepped away from the world of social media in a conscious decision to remove that torment from their lives. But the bottom line is that they are all affected by the modern trend of spewing bile and stepping over a line of respect.

St Luke's Hospital in Kilkenny welcomes art therapy student on placement

If I as a seven-year-old in the school yard called a classmate a rude name, I’d have been in trouble. But today if I, as a 40-something woman, go on Twitter or Facebook and type horrible words directed at someone, most-likely nothing happens.

In many cases the social media sites respond to reports saying no rules have been broken.
In nearly all cases nobody stands up to say what has been said is wrong.
As Cllr Joe Malone pointed out, this kind of behaviour has an effect on people’s mental health, and damaged mental health is a silent killer.
Cllr John Coonan had professional training as part of his career in the health service, yet he, too, admits that just because you try to rise above and ignore jibes, it doesn’t mean you are not affected by them.

What is to be done? Remember when the TV host Caroline Flack died by suicide, a few years ago? There was an outcry, online, about the bullying she had had to face, online. A movement to ‘be kind’ took off.
It’s a simple concept, to be kind, but one many people seem to find totally foreign to them.

I’m old enough to remember when we were taught in primary school to ‘do unto others as you would have them do to you,’ and it’s a phrase echoed by Cllr Martin Brett this week.
It seems that concept has also been thrown out by online trolls who hide, cowardly, behind their keyboards.

If we’re dealing with people who enjoy upsetting others then maybe a more stringent form of regulation is needed.
Deputy Kathleen Funchion, who has battled against nasty, personal attacks during her time as a TD for Carlow-Kilkenny, proposes steps social media companies can take that she thinks would improve the situation ‘overnight,’ like insisting people signing up for social media accounts must produce valid identification.

Public consultation begins on major Callan Friary Complex project

Public meeting and online consultation

However, legislation or regulation will make no difference if people don’t show basic respect for others.
There is legislation in existence that can be used to prosecute someone for abusive phone calls or texts, but it still happens.
One veteran councillor, who has seen it all, was reduced to tears just last week by a nasty phone call.

We don’t need to look far to see what can happen when someone ‘takes against’ a local politician. Last week the home of Kilkenny City Councillor Eugene McGuinness was attacked. Windows were broken in his home and his vehicle, parked in the driveway.

‘People feel they can insult you’ - the online abuse Kilkenny's politicians face

You might not agree with a local councillor, or the party they are a member of, you might even think that your stupid, hurtful, sarcastic, misogynistic, unfunny comment online is hilarious.
But social media doesn’t operate in a vacuum.
Words have consequences.
I can only hope that the shocking reality of what happened in Kilkenny in recent days will make online trolls think twice in the future.