Opinion: Parade of violence playing out on our TV screens can hit close to home - Kilkenny Live

It feels like there has been a tsunami of storylines around domestic, sexual and gender based violence being reported in the media and playing out in TV plots over the summer months.

Women’s Aid recently reported in their annual impact report a record number of 40,048 disclosures of domestic abuse against women and children recorded by them during 2023, right across the country. That is an 18% increase in the number of these kinds of disclosures compared to previous years and the highest ever received in the organisation’s history.

But what actually happens when similar TV storylines are played out displaying in detail or alluding to experiences of abuse and neglect, that audiences may be able to relate to?

Emmerdale ran a storyline focusing on the abusive relationship between a couple showing the real-life impact of coercive control. The storyline has evolved gradually and really shows the detail that Belle’s character experiences as she is being controlled. We get to see how power and manipulation translates to fear and compliance, what gaslighting looks like in action where she is questioning her own sanity, her memories and her perception of reality.

Many can relate to her story, how, over time any vulnerability can be hacked at and the slow erosion of independence, autonomy, confidence and self-esteem. All the things that make it so difficult to leave a bad relationship and leave people on the outside watching on saying ‘why is she putting up with this’?

Do these types of storylines serve to help people who have similar experiences, or do they actually raise things that individuals don’t want to be reminded of? From my experience at Kilkenny Rape Crisis Centre KASA, I ‘d say it is a mix of both. Shows like these can reshape common societal interpretations around particular themes, from mental health concerns to domestic and sexual violence.

They can help to give context to people’s experiences, so in the case of the storyline in Emmerdale, there may be many people in relationships or marriages who are reading this, experiencing grooming, gaslighting, coercive control, financial control without having a name for it, but seeing it played out in another form can eventually frame what has been happening for them, helping them to understand their situation better.

The Netflix hit Baby Reindeer has also been particularly topical with the true story being portrayed about a man who is initially stalked, and then separately groomed, raped and sexually violated, yet he kept going back to the abuser who did this to him.

Many of us in Ireland still have black and white views on what sexual violence is and the form it takes. In the case of Baby Reindeer, it created a lot of chatter around this idea, delving into the ways men can be abused and the isolation male victims can feel.

TV storylines can help sharpen the lens on the nuanced understanding of domestic, sexual and gender-based violence, showing the many forms in reality that it can come in, and the broad array of disturbing experiences people encounter and in particular, the varied way people respond when something inappropriate happens to them.

On the other hand, story lines of this sort can also be triggering for people, particularly if they have suppressed memories of past traumas or are trying to live in a way that they don’t want to have to face or recall what has happened to them. It can be a difficult experience for people if they see storylines they identify with and for what that can resurface within them. It can be like opening a Pandora’s box, where it is hard to put something away again. This is why we see helplines listed at the end of TV shows.

For anyone who does find themselves on the end of these experiences, remember, even though storylines have fictional characters, their stories reflect very real issues. There is always help available - you will be believed, you will be heard, and you will be supported. Kilkenny Rape Crisis Centre 180047847/8 info@kasa.ie.
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