'All the children were raised as if they were my own' - Kilkenny foster carer

With 400 ewes, 95 suckler cows, 120 sheep and three sons of her own, you would think Claire Hennessy had enough to be getting on with down on her farm in Kilkenny without adding to her load by fostering children, but you would be wrong.

“I love it. I love the company – I have always loved having children around the place. I love the house being busy,” says Claire, who has provided fostering support to more than 30 children since taking in her first child back in 2002 when she started providing respite care for children aged four to 10 years’ old.

“I was a homely farmer’s wife, cooking dinner, baking and always something on the farm,” says Claire. “I was in my element.”

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She and her husband Dick took in their first full-time, long-term child in May 2007 but then tragedy struck when Dick died from a heart attack just two months later, aged 56.

With four children to raise and a farm to keep afloat, not to mention the grief of bereavement to deal with, Claire put fostering aside for a couple of years to come to terms with her loss.

But she had no regrets returning to fostering, and the children she has supported over the years have found life on the farm quite idyllic. She recalls picnics with the children down by a stream that runs through the farm and bringing ducks down there for a swim in the water.

“Nothing is ever the same in this house – there could be ewes lambing or baby lambs to feed, or calves being born,” says Claire, who at 69 shows no signs of slowing down. Now semi-retired from fostering for the last five years, Clare recently took on an emergency foster care placement which she is thoroughly enjoying.

But how have her own children (twins now aged 33 and a 29-year-old… all male) reacted to all these new arrivals, especially the longer-term stays when boys were with her for three or four years?

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“There was never any jealousy. I always discussed things with them. All the children were raised as if they were my own.”

Now concentrating on dairy farming, Claire works the farm with her youngest son and her brother-in-law, Seamus, who she says has been a great influence on her boys especially, and those who have stayed with her.

She points out that being a foster parent is not all rosy, and that patience and diplomacy are key to making things work.

“You need to build trust with the child and come down to their level and be able to empathise with them over their problems,” Claire says.

“Children can read body language, and you have to be firm, so they know the boundaries. It depends how you say things, and you have to make time for them and be there when they want to talk to you. Security and love are what they need, and to know that you’re there for them,” she adds.

Claire has been supported on her fostering journey by social workers and link workers from Tusla, who she can contact if she has any concerns, whether that’s about a child not eating or being unusually quiet.

“They’re great – they’ll talk to the child and to me and we’ll solve the issues together.”

And when children do move on, many of them still stay in touch.

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“It’s lovely; they visit, or you get a phone call. They’ll visit for the weekend. Also, one lovely young lad, who stayed with me came back and did work experience!”

For those who think might be thinking of stepping into the world of fostering, Claire has this to say: “If you have a fondness for children and you don’t mind them running around the house, it’s the best thing you can ever do. If it’s on your mind at all, I’d say give it a go.”

Principal Social Worker in Fostering and Aftercare for Carlow Kilkenny and South Tipperary, Brid Kiely says that Claire has been a tremendous support to children down the years.

“We are so fortunate to have Claire as a carer in our area and so pleased to have so many carers to offer such great support.

“I only hope that Claire’s lovely words will resonate with the public, and I urge anyone with even the smallest interest to pick up the phone and let us help guide you to start your fostering journey.”

June is National Fostering Awareness Month run by Tusla Fostering, the national agency for and experts in foster care. Tusla Fostering is seeking foster carers from all walks of life across Ireland to help ensure young people can stay connected to their communities. A local placement will ensure a young person can maintain important connections with their friends, sports, school, and community, and reach their full potential.

Tusla’s National Lead for Fostering, Jacqui Smyth, says the Child and Family Agency welcomes applicants and enquiries from all backgrounds to provide foster care, which comes in a variety of forms, from short-term respite care to relative care and long-term.

“It is really important that the pool of available foster carers is as diverse and unique as possible because the needs of every child differ. Right now, in every part of Ireland there is a need for foster carers. Children come into care from every socio-economic group, across religions and cultures, across rural and urban communities throughout our country. Every child deserves the chance to live in a home within their own community.

“In Tulsa, our focus is to support foster carers and encourage people to consider becoming a carer for a child who is unable to remain at home. We do this through a spectrum of support for fostering families. We collaborate closely with stakeholders and colleagues to innovate and advocate for children and families in the foster care system.”

Thanks to the support of Tusla, it seems that combining fostering and farming turned out to be a hugely positive move for Claire.

“I enjoy having a busy household and I really like caring for children. It’s just who I am,” said Clare. “I am not sure if I will ever hang my welly boots up!”

For more information, visit fostering.ie, call freephone 1800 226771 or email tusla.fostering@tusla.ie

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