Happy St Patrick's Day! Picture: RODNAE Productions/Pexels
Happy St Patrick's Day everyone! Here's a poem penned in honour of our patron saint....
Greener Pastures
‘Twas Paddy’s Day in Heaven
And the craic was something fierce
Fionn MacCumhaill was there and Granuaile
James Joyce and Patrick Pearse
There were saints and scholars everywhere
Sure the likes was never seen
While God Himself, to honour the day
Was decked out all in green
With banners aloft the march set off
Down Heaven’s Main Avenue
Led by the hero of Clontarf
The legendary Brian Ború
Brian forced a smile as he limped along
He was obviously in pain
Sure the man was never quite the same
Since that sceilp he got from the Dane
(It killed him!)
Cúchulainn followed on his heels
With Lory Meagher in tow
Their solo runs and hurling skills
Damn near stole the show
Oscar Wilde was up on stilts
His foppish hair dyed green
Oscar was merely pointing out
The Importance of being seen!
Mac Liammóir and Edwards
Were marching in the line
Even up here, at Heaven’s Gate
Their acting was “divine”
John McCormack belted out
With flair and fluency
A spirited rendition of that favourite:
“Mother Mo Chroí”
Michael Collins marched along
To a loud and rousing cheer
“Thank God”, said Mick, ‘no Brexit
Or Border to bother us here”
George Bernard Shaw ambled by
Quite willing to share his views
About his latest comedy:
“How to Trump Fake News”
DeValera, tall and straight
Kept up with the pace
Had a mask of luminous, emerald green
Wrapped around his face
‘There’s no Covid here’, said Collins
‘No need to worry, fret’
Said Dev in that strange voice of his:
‘Mee-hawl, I would not bet.’
Daniel O’Connell bounced along
Full of the joys was he
As he whistled at the top of his lungs
What else but –‘The Rose of Tralee’
Parnell followed on his heels
Sporting a large shamrock spray
Arm-in-arm with his one true love
The lovely Kitty O’Shea.
WB strutted his stuff
Decked out in his best
Had his Nobel Prize for Literature
Strapped proudly on his chest
Samuel Becket trudged behind
Looking sad and just so-so
When asked about his glumness, said:
‘I’m STILL waiting for God-ot’
Our own St. Canice joined the march
But to green he did not pander
He wore instead the unique stripes
Of the famous black and amber
And then a very special guest:
The King of rock & roll blues
Swivelling his hips to shrieks and screams
And wearing GREEN suede shoes.
The poet Paddy Kavanagh
Ignored the whole affair
Instead himself and Brendan Behan
Had gone off on a “tare”
Cantankerous as ever
Paddy argued often with God
Saying Heaven was far too middle-class
And sainthood all a cod
Adding to the festive cheer
And sounding something grand
Was the famous, one and only:
McNamara’s Band
While there in all her splendour
The Parade’s symbolic ‘queen’
The enchanting and inspiring:
Ní Uallacháin, Kathleen
St Patrick spritely strode along
Chest out, proud as punch
He’d zoom Joe Biden later
For a chat and virtual lunch
When Joe asks about the afterlife
He’ll reply with gusto, pride:
“Joe, the grass IS actually greener
On the other side”.
Subscribe or register today to discover more from DonegalLive.ie
Buy the e-paper of the Donegal Democrat, Donegal People's Press, Donegal Post and Inish Times here for instant access to Donegal's premier news titles.
Keep up with the latest news from Donegal with our daily newsletter featuring the most important stories of the day delivered to your inbox every evening at 5pm.