Ukraine woman in Kilkenny: 'I can't take my family from that terrible place'

A text arrives to a mobile phone in Kilkenny. Natalia Sabitova reads the words of her aunt in Kyiv who has heard an explosion, air raid sirens, and is scared. But Natalia is relieved. At least she knows her aunt is alive.

From Chervonograd in the Lviv region, a town 30km from the Polish border, Natalia moved to Kyiv for university when she was 16.

25 years later she fell in love with a man who lived in Kilkenny, and moved here in 2017 to begin their life together. Natalia and Wojciech live near Newpark, with their little girls, but most of her close family and close friends are in Kyiv.

Natalia and her husband Wojciech who live near Newpark, Kilkenny City

When Natalia lived in Kyiv her home was just 10km from a military airport that is now the scene of intense fighting.

“I lived in the west of Kyiv where now the Russian forces are coming. It’s very close.” Her family send her photographs. It’s very hard because she knows in these places are people who are very close to her. She is trying to keep up regular contact with them, beginning every day with even a short message from each other. Sometimes they send videos from her home. “I saw broken roads and broken houses on the road from my home to  my work. I went that way for 25 years, every day. It’s really very terrible when you see the shop I go to buy bread, or the place I go to spend time with children, how it looks now.”

When she moved to Ireland Natalia’s former sister in law moved into her Kyiv apartment, so she knows it is ok for now. “I have my second home but I don't know if I will have it for an hour, a week or a day.”

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Jeniya, Natalia's sister, and her husband Marcin are helping Ukrainian refugees on the Polish side of the border

Natalia’s mother, aunt and cousins are staying in Ukraine. Her sister Jeniya lives in Poland. She is volunteering on the Polish side of the border to give food and other help to those fleeing from her homeland.

Her brother is married to a Russian woman. Three years ago they moved to Russia to be closer to her family. “Now they can’t even speak with us. They are afraid to talk with us. I am worried about him.”

Like so many in Ukraine, Natalia’s family reflects mobile populations in Europe. She has close cousins in Belarus. Her grandmother was an ethnic Pole who lived in Belarus. That lady died seven years ago and her family thank God she did not live to see this day, Natalia said.

“Part of my family is in Belarus. They are very normal but they can’t do anything. Even on Russian TV there is nothing about this situation”

Natalia said it is hard for her not being able to help. “When you hear from them (my family) you understand that they are safe but it’s very hard to understand you can’t do anything for them. I can’t even take them from this terrible place.”

Natalia with her Belorussian family

Donate to Red Cross or UNICEF for Ukraine at any post office

Some of Natalia’s family did think about leaving Ukraine, but they have stayed. “Most prefer to stay because it’s their home. They have spent all their lives in this place.

“I love Kyiv. It’s very much the place of my heart,” Natalia said. Making the decision to move to Ireland was very hard for her, but she met and married a Polish man who has lived in Kilkenny for 15 years. In the days before she left Kyiv Natalia drove the city streets and knew she would even miss the traffic jams. “Ireland is a very good country, nice and peaceful. I like Kilkenny very much but it’s not my home.” She feels isolated from all her close family and friends of 40 years who are 3,000km away.

Safe in an air raid shelter - the son of Natalia's cousin who is currently in Kyiv

Just an hour before Natalia spoke to the Kilkenny People she received a text from her aunt in Kyiv to say something exploded near them. Air raid sirens were sounding and she was very scared. But, Natalia said, “when I get a message from my mum, my aunt, my cousins, I know they are alive and it’s ok.”

She described how the hair stands up on her head when these texts arrive. The strain is huge. “I am not a productive human,” Natalia said. “I don't remember taking my medication, I don’t remember feeding my baby…” she said it’s like losing time.

It’s been almost two years since Natalia was able to visit her homeland, because of the Covid pandemic. Just last week she spoke to her mother and sister to arrange a family reunion. They were all to travel home to Ukraine for St Patrick’s weekend. “But in a few days there was war. How much time will be gone when we can meet each other and hug. I don’t know.”

People of Kilkenny show their support to Ukrainian community