Kilkenny dad's plea - 'I love my son but we need help now'

ABOVE: James with his mammy Claire and baby niece LilyRose

Dangerous
James’ behaviour is ‘dangerous right now’, Ger said. His school is doing its best but James has hit a teacher.
When he hits his sister or mother Ger steps in.

“I could get 12 or 13 punches to the head and body. There’s no way to calm him, just ride the waves. I say very little, just say ‘it’s ok, daddy loves you’.
“I put my hand on his shoulder to let him know I’m there.”

Ger said it’s like James goes to a ‘dark place’ and he has no control over how he feels.
“We have to weather it, that’s all we can do.”
When he’s upset like this ‘he breaks everything, phones, TVs, cookers’.

His parents are scared what will happen when he goes back to school in September, if he will hurt a teacher or another child.
He is happy at school, Ger said, but when he comes home he is ‘off the wall’ because they don’t have a sensory room or the equipment the school has for James.
“We’re dealing with a lot, seven days a week.”

Ger and Claire’s request seem simple. “If you need an operation you get an operation, if you have cancer you get chemo. James needs medication for ADHD. If he could only see a psychiatrist they would see he needs medication to deal with his anxiety.
“Then he would be able to see a behavioural psychologist to help.”

Ger said they have been told by key workers and CAMHS that James is ‘on top of the list’ for these appointments for four or five years.
“If James got the help he needs five years ago would he be in the situation he is in now?” Ger asked.

“I love my wife, my wife loves me, but we have traded our marriage for a partnership. We don’t get to hold hands, we don’t get to go for a drink together, we don’t get to talk about the girls.
“I love my son. My girls have had to sacrifice so much. I ask ‘have I failed them?’”

“My wife is one of the strongest, unbelievable women. She’s my hero. What she deals with every day is unbelievable and it’s not getting better, it’s getting worse.”

Ger wants other families in the same situation to know they are not alone.
“Do they have an idea what harm they are doing to us? Does the government know what could happen? It’s lonely, very, very lonely.
“We need help. We needed it three years ago. We really, really need help now.”