OPINION: The value of checking in with loved ones in our so-called ‘connected’ world

Now, more than ever in our history, we live in a hurried world.

We are driven to focus externally, outside of ourselves — to focus on careers, life goals, solving problems we did not willingly create.

Nowadays, most people do not get much time now to be alone with themselves.

The world is so connected now, maybe too connected?

Isn’t it crazy that the very prospect of being alone with ourselves can drive us to pick up the smartphone and scroll away endlessly for hours instead of doing any sort of self-evaluation?

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I suppose that’s the issue, yes we’re connected, but at the same time, we are not connected meaningfully.

This is a topic that has occupied my mind recently after speaking to a local music artist who lost people close to him to suicide.

He is around my age (mid-twenties) and we were speaking about how to spot signs in your friends or those closest to you that they might be going through a tough time.

We were also talking about how easy it has become to miss these signs in our so-called ‘connected’ world.

Yes, your friend or family member who is struggling might be giving the odd contribution to your group chats on social media, making it feel like they’re always there, but how do you really know they’re okay?

Young people who are struggling (something I’ve noticed especially with lads), have become very good at hiding their emotions.

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Somebody you know, right now, could be feeling under severe mental pressure, and would appreciate nothing more than for somebody to reach out to them.

This winter, the majority of individuals will have extra worries on their minds, from financial stress, struggling to keep the heat in their homes and providing for their families.

For most of these people (and you might be one), their own mental health will be put on the back-burner at times to address these issues first.

Meaningful connection is driven by love, and hurry and love are almost incompatible.

As John Mark Comer writes in his book ‘The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry’: “The problem isn’t when you have a lot to do; it’s when you have too much to do and the only way to keep the quota up is to hurry. That kind of busy is what has us all reeling.”

I think it’s important to spend at least one hour, three days a week, more if you can manage, checking in on those closest to you, especially those who might have drifted apart.

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It’s also important to look inward and focus on yourself - ask yourself are you truly happy or are you just keeping busy? Is there anything you can do to bring more meaning to your life? How can you stay better connected to those around you?

We also have some incredible mental health services operating here in Kilkenny that can provide support and connection when you really need it most.

At the end of the day, there’s no substitute for meaningful connection, especially in this ever-hurried world.