Freedom programme gives women a lifeline

The Amber Refuge in Kilkenny is leading the way with a pioneering new Freedom Programme which is a domestic abuse support group.

This is the first group of its kind to run in the south east and offers support to women who are or have been living in an abusive relationship. Amber set up the first group in September 2018 and since then two groups of women have completed the programme.

The programme runs for 12 weeks, meeting once a week for two hours. During this time the group explores the different behaviours and tactics that are often in abusive relationships. The group also explore the effects of this behaviour on women and children and how families lives’ improve when the abuse is removed.

There has been a hugely positive response from participants to date. One lady who attended the programme said that working with the group made her realise ‘how unacceptable abusive behaviours are, and you begin to understand the tactics and how it has affected you and your children. Women are welcome to join in the group at any time as it is a rolling group so you can repeat any weeks that you have missed’.

Outreach worker at the refuge, Sarah Kearns facilitates the group with a colleague from the refuge.

“I am in a very privileged position to work with women in the group that show such strength and resilience in the face of adversity.

“Some of the women have lived with domestic abuse for years and have now rebuilt their lives. According to recent statistics one in four women will experience abuse in their lifetime.

“I am hoping that someone reading this might come to the group or might be aware of someone else in the situation, and find time to talk to them about the support that is available at Amber Women’s Refuge,” she said.

Sarah also explained that while coming to the group can be a daunting prospect for some women that they find the experience to be a welcoming, safe and comforting one.

“I always meet with women beforehand to talk through what to expect in the group and to reassure women that it is a private, confidential group.

“Every woman attending has the utmost respect for each other. Women only share what feels right and what they are comfortable with and no one is asked personal questions or put on the spot.

“We never give advice or tell a woman to leave a relationship, we are non-judgemental, and assist a woman in making her own decisions,” she added.

Every week a specific abusive behaviour type is discussed and the effects and this is contrasted with opposite behaviour types in a non-abusive relationship.

“Central to the support is the fact that all women understand and identify with each other’s experiences as this breaks down barriers, feelings of loneliness, isolation, blame and shame. Over time having the space to connect, talk and listen helps women to rebuild their lives and heal from the effects of the abuse.”

The women who have participated in the group so far have completed an evaluation and the findings show that members found the group helpful and that participants felt better able to understand the abuse and to stop feeling like it is their fault of they might be ‘going mad’. Some of the group members also pointed out that there is ‘a lack of education and awareness about domestic abuse’.

According to Sarah recognising domestic abuse is the first step to getting some help. Domestic abuse is defined as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling coercive, threatening, degrading, intimidating and violent behaviour often including sexual violence by a partner or ex-partner but also by a family member or carer. Many people assume abuse means physical violence is happening, but that’s not always the case. Other types of abuse are categorised by financial, emotional, psychological, sexual, digital and coercive control.

A member of the Kilkenny-based group said that ‘it meant so much to come to the group and meet other women in the same situation ... you have to wear a mask most of the time and pretend everything is ok’.

Another woman has taken part in the Freedom programme twice - because she has benefitted so much from the group.

“I am extremely happy that I choose to attend this course. Finding out more information from the right people, people that are specialised in their field is a gift to me and from it a lot of unanswered questions, questions that can be dealt with in an upright, educational, mindful and respectful way.”

The Amber Women’s Refuge offers a number of services including an outreach service, a court accompaniment service and a counselling service.

The refuge is a short-term emergency accommodation for women fleeing domestic abuse.

For more information contact Amber’s 24-hour helpline number: 1850-424244 or 056-777 1404 or visit

kilkennywomensrefuge.ie or email info@

kilkennywomensrefuge.ie or find them on Facebook. All services are confidential.