'I missed my opportunity to have a family' - Kilkenny man on being homeless for years

A Kilkenny man has shared his journey of being homeless and abusing alcohol and drugs, to having his own home.

Jamie Conroy, who is 31-years-old, was born in Kilkenny and moved to England with his mother and siblings at a young age.

While there, he was forced to "grow up fast" and care for his sisters and brothers, as his mother was always somewhere else.

"I just started bringing in the money, and my mother got used to it. The older I got, the more I got comfortable in that role. Then I just came to a point where I broke," Jamie explained.

This and a few bad relationships led Jamie to move back home to Ireland at the age of 21.

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It was one relationship in particular that made him feel as though he could definitely not stay any longer.

"I missed my opportunity of having a family because she faked having a child on my behalf, and she took that away from us, which is one of the reasons why I couldn't stay in that place. I just got down a deep, dark hole, and ever since then I've been chasing that kind of happiness you would get. I think she took that away from me that day," he shared.

Jamie moved in with his brother in Carlow and was determined to make a change to his life now that he was home, despite the challenges he was facing. 

"I found myself struggling to figure out the housing situation and to adapt. I had all this experience from moving from job to job and doing college, and whatnot. I was never one to sit still. I was always moving. But when I came back home, that's when it was sort of like, I'm determined to make it work," he said.

However, things didn't go according to plan, and after six months, Jamie left his brother's house. 

"It was good at the beginning, and then it got sour. I was one for having the odd cheeky pint here and there, but if I was to have the wrong people around, I'd be easily influenced," he explained.

Jamie called his uncle, who let him sleep in a spare room for a number of months. 

While there, Jamie got a job at the same charity shop as his aunty and started to feel as if his life was starting to get on track.

Unfortunately, things didn't go to plan, and on the night of his birthday, Jamie found himself in an argument with his uncle and was told to leave the house before his uncle returned from work later that night. 

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"I just got a bit bold and got a bit brave. I ended up just going full at the uncle. It's like 'Shut your mouth, it's my birthday. You can't do nothing.'  I was using the birthday card. I think I was drinking, but I didn't hold anything back," he explained.

Once again, Jamie found himself looking for somewhere to stay. 

He called his boss from the charity shop and outlined the situation. 

She said he could stay there, so he dropped his things over and decided to head for a few pints. 

The next thing he remembers is waking up on a mattress on the floor of his boss's son's floor. 

They allowed him to stay for a few months as long as he "pulled his weight." 

Jamie got offered a new job with the husband of his charity shop boss, and he accepted, ready for another new beginning. 

After a couple of months in the new job and living with his boss and his family, Jamie got a call from his brother. 

He asked Jamie to come see the new house in Carlow that he had gotten. 

"In the back of my mind, I've got a voice screaming, 'No, keep your head down. You've got work tomorrow. You've got
savings. You don't need to go'," he said.

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He did not listen to that voice though, and once again, he found himself in bother and out of the accommodation he had again, though the family helped Jamie to find a hostel, and this is where he lived for roughly three months until Halloween night.

On that evening, Jamie had got some alcohol to drink with some others who were living in the hostel at the time.

"I got four bottles of vodka with some of the people that lived in the place, and went a bit nuts because he went to bed and I was looking for him, baiting down doors apparently. I just turned into a man that I am not," he said. 

The next morning, the hostel manager told Jamie that he had been aggressive and was found in the shower, soaking wet, but fully clothed.

A Garda report was filed and he was asked to leave the hostel.

Jamie stayed on his uncle's couch again, but instead of spending a few months there, he decided to go to the housing office in Kilkenny the next morning.

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It was there that he was introduced to the Good Shepherd Centre, and an employee from the office brought him to have a look. 

After that, Jamie spent about five years, on and off, at the Centre.

He found a community and even started to work there doing the odd few jobs. 

He spent five Christmasses, four Halloweens, and four Easters there, before one day being asked if he'd like to leave. 

The Good Shepherd Centre had found an apartment for Jamie to live in should he want it, which, of course, he did. 

It was a bit of a fixer-upper and had no furniture, but one of the Centre's caseworkers went shopping with Jamie to help him pick some out.

He has been living there independently ever since, and has been enjoying his own space, however, there are parts of the Good Shepherd Centre that he misses.

"When I did move out, I did miss the community aspect of it. I wouldn't say I got lonely, but I'd say I needed to keep my head busy because at the back of my mind I was thinking, 'Wow, all the time I spent there, the community, waking up and the routine and meeting all the lads,' I was there for a good while before I got offered this place," he shared.

In terms of regrets, Jamie doesn't seem to have many and is quite content with how his life has turned out. 

As much as things could have been done differently, without mistakes being made, he would not be who he is today.

"I'm happy I did what I did because it's got me to where I am now," Jamie concluded.