When Steven Cooper got the key to his apartment in Kilkenny city at the start of December, it was hard to believe how far he had come since a mental health crisis in his early 60s left him without a home: or hope.
“I was ready to take my own life, didn’t have a future, didn’t see anything on my horizons at all; and now I’m quite happy, I’ve got my own little roof,” says the retired bus driver, now 69.
“I can’t thank Good Shepherd enough.”
Steven is sharing his story as part of the Good Shepherd Kilkenny Centre’s campaign this Christmas to highlight the importance of housing for those in need.
Originally from London, Steven moved to Ireland in 1994 “for the love of a good woman”. Initially, the couple settled in Tipperary, but after both of their children were diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), re-located to Kilkenny to access services.
“It was a big shock,” Steven says of the diagnosis, explaining that while he and his wife did everything possible to support their children, it put “lots of pressure” on the marriage. Secretly, he struggled with depression.
“I was living two lives,” admits Steve, who also believes he has undiagnosed ASD. “I was ‘happy Steve’ who made everybody laugh; but deep down inside, I wasn’t happy.”
Eventually, “it all came to a head” and after what Steven describes as a manic depressive episode, he tried to take his own life. “I just lost it. My life didn’t seem worth living,” he recalls.
Admitted to the Department of Psychiatry at St Luke’s and unable to return home, Steven did not know where to turn.
“My life had just crumbled around me, and at the age of 62 I suddenly found that I didn’t have a family home,” he says.
“I was always hard-working, never had any problems with drink, drugs, gambling… I had, I suppose, a ‘normal’ life. My mental health let me down in the end. I just couldn’t cope. I felt broken.”
After release from hospital, Steven was placed in Greenbanks Crisis House in Carlow: a rehabilitative step-down mental health facility. “My life consisted of a blue suitcase and that was it,” he says.
A referral to Good Shepherd in 2018, however, became a lifeline. From the moment he walked through the door, Steven was treated with dignity.
“There was no one judging me,” he explains. “I could tell my side of the story and somebody had empathy to what I was going through.”
Indeed, Steven was soon allocated a room in the main
Good Shepherd Kilkenny centre, where staff helped him apply for his social welfare entitlements, as well as referring him to mental health supports like the Recovery College. A few months later, he was offered a house share, and after a year, his own place in Kells.
Unfortunately, life threw Steven another curveball after he was diagnosed with lymphoma (blood cancer). Now in remission, the recent move to the Kilkenny city apartment was arranged to make it easier to attend medical appointments etc.
As he approaches 70, Steven is even more grateful to have a roof over his head given the current housing crisis.
“You can’t afford the rents that are on the market, I couldn’t afford to put a deposit on a house, no one is going to give me a mortgage at my age,” he says.
While he might put up “a few decorations” this Christmas, Steven won’t make a fuss. Security is the greatest gift he could wish for.
“You get the key to your front door, you lock it: and you are your own person,” he says.
For anybody struggling with their mental health, Steven’s advice is to seek support.
“Don’t be brave and say ‘I can do all this on my own’ because you can’t,” he says. “It’s a big step, but you’ve got to seek out that help. No-one is going to seek you out.”
And while it’s been a long road, recovery is possible.
“It can be done and- touch wood- I can keep doing it,” smiles Steven.
