‘I never had a Christmas’ - Phil (54) puts up tree for the first time - Kilkenny Live

Last December was the first time in years that Phil Byrnes was able to put up a Christmas tree.

“I never had a Christmas; and that’s the truth,” says Phil (54), who is sharing her story as part of the Good Shepherd Kilkenny Centre’s campaign this festive season to highlight the importance of housing for those in need.

Raised in a care home in Tipperary, Phil’s childhood was ‘very rough’.

READ MORE KILKENNY VIEWS AND OPINION HERE

“I used to run away every day,” says the Clonmel woman, who suffered abuse at the hands of those entrusted to look after her.

At eight years of age, she started drinking to block out the pain. At 11, she was using drugs. And at 13, she had given birth to her first child.

“Life was hard them days,” says Phil. “I kept running away. I couldn’t put up with any more of the abuse that I got.”

Phil married at 16, but life did not deliver the happy ever after she might have hoped for. At 21, she left for a fresh start with a new partner, and moved to Kilkenny.

“It was grand at the start,” says Phil, who worked in a taxi office and as a seamstress. Unable to outrun the bad memories, however, she turned to harder drugs to cope.

“I was on heroin, ecstasy, speed, cocaine,” she says. “It took me life. It keeps the bad memories blocked in.”

Due to addiction, Phil ended up living on the streets, including two years in a tent at Green’s Bridge.

She also spent time in prison for theft. At her lowest point, she turned to self-harm.

An introduction to the Good Shepherd Kilkenny Centre, however, changed Phil’s life. For the first time in so long, she felt treated with respect.

“They listened to you,” she explains. “They understood you.”

Soon after that first meeting, Phil was placed in “a little apartment” near the main centre. Even now, she visibly lights up as she remembers the relief of having a home after so long.

“Oh my God, it was so amazing. It was like a new life fell over me. I felt safe,” she says. “Just to open your front door and say it’s your own home.”

Initially, Phil was not ready to avail of addiction services, but after attending the methadone clinic at the HSE’s Ardú Substance Misuse Service, she came off drugs and stopped drinking. On December 5, she celebrated two years sober.

“I’m just doing fine at the moment— I’m not fine —but I’m just coping well,” she says. “I often give meself a clap on the back!”

Phil has since moved to a different apartment through Good Shepherd, and continues to see her key worker, John Quinn.

“If I need a chat or anything, he’s there. John is a great person,” she says. “You just need one person.”
Phil recently took up baking, and has a pet cat called Casper who followed her home from the Good Shepherd centre and has not left her side since.

She loves spending time with her 13 children and 13 grandchildren, and appreciates having a safe, comfortable home where they can visit. She can now start to see the magic of Christmas through their eyes, and looks forward to celebrating with them.

Looking back, Phil can’t believe how different her life is. She is grateful to Good Shepherd Centre Kilkenny for their faith in her.

“I wouldn’t have made it otherwise,” she states. “I’d say I’d be dead.”